Including local lockdowns; this is now the fourth lockdown my family finds itself in and much like the first there is no end point currently in sight. This doesn’t even include our time in Tier 3 and 4. Absolute madness; I don’t know I ever saw this way of living coming and it’s been tough, as it has been for millions of people up and down the country and sometimes it can be so hard to stay positive.
I’d be lying if I didn’t admit to a meltdown here or there (or every other day whose counting) but the longer we are in it the easier I am finding it. So I thought I’d share my top tips for getting through a lockdown with your sanity intact (mostly):
Separate your week days and weekends
Kind of seems like every day blurs into one, especially is home is home and work right now. What works for me right now is routine based week days and routine-less weekends.
On a working day; whether I am physically going in or staying home I start the same. Get up and get a work out in; shower, dress and have breakfast. Then I either leave for work or head upstairs to my home-working station, once referred to as my bed. I try to keep my work day at home the same as my work day at work. Breaks, lunch and logging off at the normal time. Then some time with the kids, dinner, bedtimes and then some time for me and Mike to watch the next episode of Boardwalk Empire (our current binge; Mike’s never seen it!).
The weekend however; get up whenever, maybe a bigger breakfast, we try to head out for a big walk at some point, kids do whatever they fancy, roll in and out of pyjamas all day; just chill!
Now; not every week day is that good and not every weekend is that easy. Like everyone I have days where I am running late or no matter how much I try to focus on working from home I can’t or I find the kids being constantly around me overwhelming. But trying to stick to this does help break it all up and give life some normality. And helps you to work out what day it is!
Home-working Stations
Try and have a set area in your house that is just for working. Or if like me, you can’t; make sure you pack away your home office every evening when you are finished. Unfortunately, I tend to work from my bedroom which is not ideal but if you have a study or even just a desk that you can walk away from it will help you switch off. In the summer I worked from the garden table, right now I work huddled in a duvet so I don’t run up huge heating charges. But when I log off each night I pack everything away into my portable office (my laptop bag) and I try not touch it again till the next morning.
Make Time as a Couple
Nowhere to go right? No childcare options? What couple time??? This is such a tough one in lockdown and it can feel a little bit like you just have the most annoying house mate ever who is ALWAYS THERE. So making time to feel like a couple is more important than ever. But how do you do it? I’ve seen an evening stargazing suggested or games nights. Mike and I have done lunch time walks when we are both working from home. We created our own steakhouse in the garden one evening last summer. We’ve done couples quiz nights on Whatsapp and set aside movie nights. It is not exciting; I am not going to lie to your face and tell you it is. But whether it’s sitting in your garden with a glass of wine and a fire going in the BBQ (and duvets, its freezing at the minute) or playing a board game together once the kids have gone to bed; something is better than nothing. We did monopoly; mistake, I thought it would never end!
Make Memories
Again, so hard with nowhere to go and nothing to do; but make walks an ‘adventure’, try out some home cooking or crafts (the more horribly wrong they go the better the memory) dress up and play pirates, do a home spa, throw a party just for your household, keep a journal, take a photo a day, ask your kids to write one sentence to sum up their day; anything. Just make memories because you don’t get this time back!
I took at least one photo everyday in the first lockdown to keep in a scrapbook. By the time it ended I had 3 scrapbooks full of photos and I look back all the time on those few months and smile. I smile because of how hard I worked. I smile at the fun we had. I smile at the ‘not as good as the picture’ ideas we tried. I smile at the tantrums and the crying (from me naturally). And I smile because I know I busted my ass not to waste that time; life is too short.
Walk for the Adventure
So I can’t be accused of suggesting anyone breaks government guidance: only travel locally and try not to drive there if you can. Of course ‘locally’ has never really been defined which makes life difficult and even though we are lucky to live near a great walk; we have done it a thousand times and we can’t usually rely on snow to make it more exciting.
So when we walk at the weekend we make it an ‘outing’ for the kids. We try to find as many different ‘local’ places we can so we can mix it up, we do scavenger hunts, we look for wildlife, we climb trees, we ‘goblin’ hunt (the best fun, all you need is a back story about what goblin hovels look like) and splash in puddles (because that is usually something we can rely on in England!) we follow trails and maps (available online). Even if you only do it once a week it gives you something to plan and look forward too.
Socialise
I make no secret of my anxiety but I do try to keep my social anxiety quiet. I don’t like going to parties or out with people I don’t know very well. I will often find an excuse to not attend work functions and will stick to the one person I know in large gatherings no matter how hard they try to shake me off. So I am terrified of how bad I will be when the world finally returns to normality.
Not to mention missing everyone. I haven’t seen the majority of my close family since the end of summer and most of Mike’s now live a long way away. So we just do what we can but never turn down an opportunity to catch up. One of the best evenings I had was a 2 hour video call to a friend in Scotland who I hadn’t spoke to in over a year. I could have a glass of wine and so could she and we could catch up almost as if we were in the same room. I won’t get into my anxiety about being on video right now but you get the point; if there is an opportunity to talk to someone outside of your household; take it! I’ve heard of people doing dinner parties on whatsapp; I just think that is the best thing ever.
Don’t Sweat Home Learning
That is what it is, home learning not home school. You are not a teacher (unless you are a teacher), if you were expected to keep your kids education to the same standard as a teacher in school then what a waste of time training to be a teacher would be.
Schools are under pressure to provide a certain standard of work and feedback is always mixed bag; some race through the work and don’t have enough to do. Others find it overwhelming. And of course the government line for already stressed teachers working in circumstances they never trained for in ever changing times; if you’re not happy parents complain to Ofsted. Brilliant.
I work in a school and honestly we have been accused of all sorts, but there are staff that haven’t had a full holiday since last March because the government like to use school holidays as the time to make changes. Staff who are overwhelmed with live teaching, planning remote lessons, marking and trying to make contact with every kid in their form once a week to check they are safe. Staff who are trying to protect and care for vulnerable children from their living rooms. Honestly; they are swamped.
So the point of my shout out to teachers everywhere is this; as long as your child is safe, happy and doing their best then a big thumbs up from your educator. We don’t want you to stress and we don’t want your child to stress. And schools are preparing to deal with the fall out of this lockdown when we return; its not something we need you to worry about. If your child is struggling or your worried talk to the teacher but DO NOT SWEAT IT; IT IS WHAT IT IS. And I don’t know a single teacher who wouldn’t agree with me.
No one on Facebook is an Infectious Disease Expert
Even if they were, they wouldn’t be allowed to leak that stuff via social media. Everyone is entitled to their opinion, everyone is allowed to share what they want on their social media account (as long as it’s within the platforms terms and condition; isn’t that right Don?) but you do not have to believe it or take it as truth. Ignore it, scroll past it, try not to worry about it. Take a break if it’s getting too much or delete that person. Don’t get sucked in. I took a day off from social media and news over Christmas because the constant drip drip of rising case numbers and new strains combined with teachers are cowards and should just suck it up and go in while parents just did whatever the hell they wanted over Christmas mixing households; I was terrified and I spent most nights leading up to the reopening of schools crying. So you know what; it gets to much just shut it down. There are better ways to spend your time anyway….like reading my blog!!
Don’t Put too Much Pressure on Yourself
If you don’t learn a new skill or get that project finished; it’s ok. If you manage a routine for 3 days and then spend the rest of the lock down in your dressing gown; it’s ok. If you have literally thrown the home learning out the window or burned it in the garden; it’s ok. If you just do the same thing, day in, day out because it’s easier; it’s ok.
However you are coping; it’s ok.
You don’t have to answer to anyone, just because ‘Julie’ on Facebook is posting daily about how much ‘fun’ her kids are having or ‘Sarah’ on Instagram is living her best lif; doesn’t mean you are being judged because you aren’t. It doesn’t even mean that ‘Sarah’ and ‘Julie’ aren’t sobbing in to a large glass of Gin every night behind their social media reality.
It’s not a competition, even all this advice I am giving doesn’t mean I don’t have days where I think ‘not today’. I didn’t do my work out this morning; face bothered. I let Dylan spend all afternoon on the XBOX one day last week because I was busy; who cares. I binge ate a huge amount of food Sunday night; I can if I want! You do you; you don’t have to live to anyone else’s standards
Outnumbered 